Chicago Traffic

Can you frigging believe that it took me two hours and ten mins 2hrs 10mins 4 secs to get to school from my house today!!! Hello Metra!!!! This is just a lesson for me. I had better sleep in Chicago the night before my final or I will be huffing and puffing into my final just as the proctor says " 15 minutes more" I know I have to do mass transit next semester. My plan to take classes only on thursdays and fridays should work and I plan on staying home as much as possible to catch up on sleep and put some in reserve for when I start as an Associate.

I am glad I took a time-out and went to see a movie yesterday - "Get Rich or Die Trying" starring two quarters. It was a nice break from reality that is biting my behind.

Exams have started and I had Mediation first. I totally missed one question and saw it at the last minute. This semester has been a mix. I feel in some way that my body was fully here but my mind was on vacation at certain points. I think its because of all the things that are going on in my head. There is always the next thing to do or figure out. I did a mediation simulation and totally went "unneutral" on one side. I think my mouth was speaking faster than my brain was thinking (Isnt that the same as talking without thinking?) Anyway, I was mediating a landlord tenant dispute between an old lady and her landlord and I may have seemed bias against the landlord. I knew I was asking the LL too many questions but as I was asking, my brain was trying to figure out how to bring the discussion back to the two of them. Anyway, didnt work.
I think I may do better as an evaluative mediator when I really sit to think of it. If I did that, the mediation would probably go something like this:

That way, I could say, look get real, the lady has been trying to call you to help her fix her damn door that is broken and the window that brings in chilled air. Didnt you know there was a problem? She would say something like : Well, her apartment can't be perfect, everyones apartment is like that. My response would be to ask her what she thought a perfect apartment is? Besides the old lady wasn't asking for a perfect apartment, she was asking for a safe apartment. Whats your understanding of a LIVABLE apartment!!Gosh that darn word...I just introduced a word that the parties did not use (a mediation offense by the way). I guess I should at this point be asking what their ideas of an apartment is....but wait...what if we grab our pens and draw houses...then they could show me what the apartment looks like, what window and door is broken so I can ask the Landlord if she would swap houses with the old lady
....now that would be cool right...Well, this is just the craziness in my head...I would probably go to mediation hell for doing that. Okay, enough venting...I should be a party in a mediation. I think I should hire Lynn Cohn (my esteemed professor - let me tell you, she's the best and I would love to be like her) to mediate between me (the flumoxed wanna be straight-jacket mediator) and the Bobby Knight of Mediation trainers. That would be exciting. Although, knowing Lynn's style, she would probably convince me that I am in love with my trainer and should go clubbing with the trainer. Obviously, before we get to that point and before Lynn separates us, you will not witness the chair throwing and yelling frenzing that would be unleashed, all while yours sincerely is quiet!!! Guess whose throwing the tantrum!!!

Phew....I got that momentary overload off my brain...now back to Federal Rules of Evidence 407 which in the mediation context would say:

When, after an injury (Emotional damage) allegedly caused by an event (multiple mediation simulations) measures are taken that, if taken previously (certifying me in the first instance), would have made the injury or harm less likely to occur, (oh yeah!!!) evidence of the subsequent measures (Lynn's motherly love) is not admissible to prove negligence(not certifying me in the first instance), culpable conduct(losing mediator neutrality), a defect in a product(bad trainer), a defect in a product's design(Bobby Knight Trainer), or a need for a warning or instruction(This Trainer is bad for your Certification). This rule does not require the exclusion of evidence of subsequent measures (Lynn's motherly love) when offered for another purpose, such as proving ownership (My inability to learn a process that a 10 year old understands), control (mediation flash cards), or feasibility of precautionary measures (maintaining mediator neutrality), if controverted, or impeachment (Booting myself from the mediation practicum).


As one Wise Guy once Said...

"That the World gets wiser as it
gets older does not mean that
the world was foolish before!!!"

Sour Lemons

My mediation class went to the Center for Conflict Resolution office in the loop for mediation training. They showed us what they called the short form mediation style. In the video presentation we watched, the plaintiff in the mediation alleged that the defendant sold her a car for $3500 and the next day, the car broke down on the highway. It was embarrassing she said, it was a Sour Lemon she added!!!!

Now I have heard of Lemons both the vehicular and the fruity types but sour lemons? How else does a lemon taste or how many tastes could you possibly attribute to a lemon? Beats me. I guess I could start to use that phrase from now on. Getting a bad grade in securities regulation is like a sour lemon!! Having to hand write my evidence exam is a sour lemon, breaking up with your boyfriend two days before valentines day is a sour lemon. Borchien breaking up with Puja is a sour lemon (disclaimer: Borchien did not do this two days before valentine's day). Having the registrars office tell you on graduation day that you need three more credits to graduate is a frigging sour lemon. You get my point. Sour lemons I guess are bad.


By the way, I think Merlin has ADHD. He never seems to sit still. I had CLR with him in our first year and he was standing half the time in class or lying on the floor. He is doing the same here at the mediation training. At first I thought he had pins in his butt but I remembered our first year. I think he would do better to have a dancing career since he would never have to sit, alternatively, he could work at intersections directing traffic anytime the lights break down. He would love the standing. I can totally see Merlin throwing a fit at the firm where he is an associate if anyone ever asked him to do document review, especially if he is asked to do it in a windowless office where he has to sit down for hours. Merlin, have a happy thanksgiving and if you can't sit long enough to eat the turkey, at least do a dance anytime there is a touchdown during the football game. Peace Out!!!

Presentation Galore

Today was the last day of Negotiations. The students had to make their presentations and they were all great and I hope they all get As. We had great food as well courtesy of Lynn. You are really blessed if you get to take a class with her. Merlin and I have officially retired as TAs for the semester!!

The food was plenty and I had my fill as well. I can't even begin to describe what we had but I was full by the end of the night. I was also trying not to be a papparazzi during the night. I know I told some people that I will put their picture on ebay or playboy.com but sorry to set so high an expectation. Its only going on my blog. If I have defamed you by putting you on my blog, please let me know so I can sue you for "Waste of bandwith Space" Thats the new cause of action in the seventh circuit.





What am I going to do on Wednesday afternoons now? I have no box to prepare since there wont be any class. What will I do from 6-9 pm on wednesdays, I just may walk up to McCormick just to pretend like there is class.

As I drove home, I actually realized that in some sense, I am sad that this class has ended. I dont like to say good byes, I prefer to say "See you later." I had a conversation with another student who talked about being afraid of public speaking. I recommended Toastmasters, this is a group that will help you hone your public speaking skill. Check them out at http://www.toastmasters.org/

In the spirit of the law student on the left who has already passed out from drinking diet coke combined with egg noodles...good luck with "eggzams" and may the law be with you!!

Is a Barista a lawyer?

Nooooooooo. Not according to Starbucks. A barista is the title of the person who serves you coffee at Starbucks. Go figure. The first time my sister mentioned the word "Barista" to me, I was wondering why her Nigerian lawyer was now serving coffee in Starbucks. Whats with that.

Right now I am trying to finish two things. Finish the first season of West Wing and then finish the book I am reading. I started watching the first season of West Wing this summer when I went to Kenya. I took it with me but it sucked to try to watch TV while you are on vacation, especially since it was something I brought with me. I am finishing it tonight, yes it has taken me this long but I have managed through classes this semester to try and finish it. Actually, it means I have not done any studying during the past three wekends. Have you tried watching TV with kids buzzing around you? Try two kids. Anyway, I am on the last DVD, I love this show. By the way, I have Season 2, 3 and 4 on standby and I am hoping someone will buy Season 5 and 6 for me. Can I also say, that I am kinda ticked off that Season 5 and 6 are available in England and we can't even get season 6 here? Whats with releasing an American show in England first. I know they were our colonial masters but I thought we already protested and dumped tea in the Boston Harbor!!! Anyway, thats on my wish list, West Wing Season 5 and 6 cos I am going to knock out 2,3,4 over xmas!!!


I am reading Ambler Warning by Robert Ludlum, good so far especially considering that I am supposed to be reading my law school books. Anyway, thats not what worries me. I am reading a book by a guy who is dead and keep churning out books. I am told someone else is writing these books and appending his name to it. I should remember that in the future when I decide to publish my book.

I am a rat pack, I go to a bookstore, see a book I like or author I read who now has a new book and I buy it to read later. It has come to the point where I have a suitcase full of books that I have not read and I take them out one at a time to read them as I have time. I have somewhat decided to be supportive of my local public library and borrow books to read instead of buying them. The only problem I face as in the above book is that the due date comes quick, I am not done with the book and if its a new book I cant renew it. Holding time for the book is 14days. Well, 14 days is enough when I have nothing else to do. When I am in school full time like this, I dont get to read as fast.

Which explains why the book I borrowed from Bishop at the end of the first year of law school is still on my shelf, unread and accumulating fines. I should read it this xmas.!! Anyway, peace out, let me finish West Wing and then this book, cos I really need to be studying for finals.

What a Week

Yeah, I finished a draft of my paper, my securities markets paper, I went through the final proofs for my journal's first issue, we just have a few more articles to go through on monday. I was able to turn in a draft of my paper on Wednesday to Prof. Ruder. I want to get that back next week so I can finish it over thanksgiving and have one less class to worry about.

I have one final the week after thanksgiving and then the rest finals week. The week after TXG, Tuesday is a Thursday schedule and Wednesday is a Friday by order of the Dean. Hmm, which means I have two days of class technically that week instead of four. Whose complaining.

I have one class where I get homework everyweek, structuring transactions, I just wish the class would end today!!Its enough already. how many signature blocks can a man memorize, I guess I should live with it since that will be my life in the near future, drafting contracts endlessly.

Dunkin Donuts - Poor Man's Starbucks

Disclaimer: I have been ordered by some people at "star with money" that they do not differentiate between the folks at Corporate headquarters in Seattle and the baristas at the various coffee shop...in their words, we are family...(cue song) We are family...ye ye ye yeaaah, All the baristas are with meeeeeeeeee.....(Cue next song) All I want to drink is white mocha, but all you have is, Caramel Mocchiattoo.....back to my day job


Anyway, I was discussing coffee with some friends one day and people were talking about what they like about different brands 0f coffee. While I am a big fan of Caramel Mochiatto from Starbucks and that about the only drink I get there in addition to the White Mocha, I sometimes have to go to Dunkin Donuts when I dont have up to $5 in my pocket for a cup of coffee!!! (I believe we will all be drinking Starbucks one day after they buy up all the coffee shops) Anyway, I ended up saying to my regular DD drinking friend that DD is what you drink when you are broke and cannot afford Starbucks. Well, did I stir a hornets nest or what!!!! After the words snooty, bourgie and other well timed words to indicate how "I think I am better than those that drink DD," I had to eat my words.

Well, this morning (one of my many broke days), I just came out of DD where I went to get myself a straight forward Medium French Vanilla with a Boston Creme Donut. I stepped out of DD and there were two panhandlers outside of the Starbucks next door. As I walked out, they looked at me and one of them said hello and then not another word. As I continued walking, a guy came out of Starbucks and he was instantly mobbed for whatever extra quarter/money he may have for them.

Hmm, I thought to myself. These guys must have figured that there was no point asking my broke-ass self for money since I could not afford Starbucks and was buying DD. As a matter of fact, they did not ask any of us who came out of DD for anything.

If thats not proof that DD is a poor man's starbucks, then I am not sure what else could prove it.!!! I could be wrong but I am sticking to my story.

My Graduation Speech

Fellow Graduates, Faculty and Staff, Dean Van Zandt and our Special guest of honor, Senator Obama, Welcome. We meet today to celebrate the end of one journey and the begining of another one. I remember the oath we all took in Lincoln Hall when the Chief Justice of the Illinois Supreme Court swore us in after giving us the oath. DVZ has always promoted this school as student run. We interview incoming students, we welcome admitted students at Day at northwestern and we are truly glad when they come.

Before I continue, let me give honor to one man who made my day early in January of 2003, to Dean Rebstock, who for all of us sitting here, was the bearer of good news that you have all been accepted to this great institution to study law and learn other things while we were at it. By the way, I am glad that on the first day, unlike my undergrad, the Dean did not ask us to "turn to the left and turn to the right, one of you wont be here at graduation." He believed in our staying power.

Classes started with much apprehension on our minds, most of us came to law school despite reading Scott Turow's book - One L, we started to learn abbreaviations like CLR, RB, LM and DVZ . I have to say that I am not sure what DVZ means but I have come to conclude that whether its David Van Zandt or Dean Van Zandt, either way, I was right. We learnt not to buy lunch on most days because one of the student organizations on campus will have an event and feed us with Pizza or burritos. Sometimes, we are lucky and many more than one will have an event and we would have to choose the event we attended by the food we serve. February was always a favorite for me, it was then I got to taste Mrs. Keys soul food especially her sweet potatoes.

What is law school without Bar Review. While many of my non-law school friends thought I was going out to study hard every thursday night, I met my class mates at one of the bars chosen by the social committee. We bought $2 pitchers of beer, talked about Lion Wolves and Water and got to know ourselves better without having to use a power point presentation. It was at one such bar review that I met Eric Olshan who I told about the four wives I never had, For sure, Mr. Olshan will not forget me and I will not forget him for that brief moment when he must have wondered how I could cope with having four wives and attend law school at the same time.

For those we did not meet at Bar Review, we met in the Atrium - the center of the Northwestern Law Students existence, that is, until you became a 3L and the only class you had were the Tuesday and Wednesday class from 6-9pm.

We discovered self scheduled exams even if my computer did crash during my sec reg exam but that doesn't matter anymore, but anytime I hear the word 10b-5, Sarbanes Oxley or the '34 Act, I cringe.

How could I forget my compatriots on the Journal of International Law and Business. As Editor in Chief, I tried to look at the big picture, but what use is the big picture if no one is paying attention to the details. Kate Fugina has done such a good job of making sure the commas were in the right place, that the printers got our articles on time, she kept me on my toe the whole year and for that I thank you. JILB members, I thank you all for your work, my fellow journal compatriots, we spent time on the 5th floor trying to do service to many articles that cross our desks and the evidence is in the publications that now line our journal offices for this year.

If you were in Section 1, you certainly will not forget Prof. Ron Allen, our Civ Pro professor, who is retiring today to start the Law firm of Lion Wolves and Water. I still remember him debating Miranda Warnings with Yale Kamisar on the Justice Talking show at the National Constitution Center in Philadelphia. After listening to that debate, all I can say is Yale Kamisar, eat your heart out!!

As we all go back out in the world, lets not forget where we came from, where we started and the people we leave behind. When Northwestern Law starts calling to raise money, don't forget to be generous. After all, its tax deductible.

I have learnt a lot in my three years in law school and I will end with those things.
1. That you should never start a listserv war you cannot end.

2. That any listserv war that Blake has not contributed to, does not qualify as a listserv war.

3. Law school has taught us that there is such a thing as a free lunch - even though we now realize that it comes as part of our tuition and we still have work off all that burrito at the gym

4. That SFPIF could raise more money if I could pronounce and spell it properly

5. That I have a classmate who looks spartan, is knowledgeable, can wax philosophical, is called Bishop even though he is not a priest

6. That he same people investigating the Joan Benet Ramsey Murder are the same people investingating Merlin's missing green nalgene bottle. We all know that would never be solved.

Kids

I am in class and yeah, I know I should not be blogging but seeing as my mind keeps traveling far away from here, I may as well. Actually, a word the professor just said jarred me back to reality. I think he was talking about Trump and the mortgages he has on his building, anyway, he said the word Fabulous. Why does that mean anything? Well, it goes like this....

My daughter loves her aunties, my sisters!! She knows everyones names except for my youngest sister. My daughter knows her as Fabulous!!! I dont remember how that came about, I think my sister may have asked her to call her that but when we went to Kenya to visit my parents in August, my dad was holding my daughter and pointing at pictures and asking my daughter if she knew who these people were..but of course...yeah grandpa....This is Aunty Ify, Aunty Ije, Uncle Emenem, daddy and this is FABULOUS...and she said it so loudly too. My dad looked at her and pondered for a second what she meant or was talking about. "What is fabulous?" I had to quickly jump in and explain that in her own kind of way, my sister has managed to get my daughter to know her as Fabulous....Talk about setting up expectations... I hope when she comes for thanksgiving, that she does bring Fabulous presents for her niece...Akuada, I hope you are reading this!!!Go ahead, make her day Fabulous!

Atticus Finch, Perry Mason & Matlock

We encounter Great lawyers in different place. I am a sucker for law related shows - the law and order series come to mind. I used to watch The Practice until they mucking around with the time schedule, then I watched a variety of shows including Law and Order. The L&O series is starting to get to me. It was sweet when you had one version, now I have to keep up with the different versions they have- which are all good I might add.



Long before I decided to come to law school, I watched a lot of Matlock - the epitome of a Southern Lawyer. At least, thats what his demeanor and accent seem to show. Hey I might be wrong, but he sure knew how to prove his case and win!!











Perry Mason on the other hand, is what my Legal Ethics Professor calls the Baby Boomer's idea of a lawyer. Who am I to argue with that?
I may have caught a couple of Perry Mason episodes on TV back in college - at the risk of dating myself and you think that I am a baby boomer - they were reruns. Perry Mason in the episodes I saw, had grey hair - wise guy, not in the mafia kinda way and knew his stuff. And to think I wasnt thinking of law school then!!!



How did I meet Atticus Finch. I have one of my professors Steve Lubet at Northwestern to thank for that. I took a class with him -I am not sure what name to call the class but lets call it "story telling." I remember reading somewhere where someone said "When Atticus Finch walked from the courtroom and the gallery rose in his honor, tears streamed down my face," now thats powerful stuff. I read to kill a mockingbird and wondered if we still had lawyers like Atticus Finch. Steve Lubet might come close - maybe its the grey hair that to me signifies wisdom - but he sure reminds me of someone with the credibility of Finch. It is probably my association of Lubet with Finch and the fact that Lubet is an ethics scholar/expert, that makes me associate ethics with Atticus Finch and that every lawyer should strive to be like Atticus Finch.

In any case, these are lawyers we should at one time or another, watch as they perform in the courtroom, cos we sure can learn a lot from them.

My Son, My Daughter, My kids

My son has decided that I have to include him in my blog. He likes my laptop although he bangs on the keyboard just like the girl who sits next to me in legal ethics. He likes to play with the remote...I think its a guy thing and for some reason, he likes to turn the TV on and off, maybe its the clicking sound, maybe he just wants me to pay more attention to him but whatever it is, he is such a lovely child. He actually likes this picture of himself that I am putting on the blog. He looks at me and smiles his approval. Now thats my boy.

Ezi is my daughter, she is 3 and likes to remind you of that. Whats a trip to a restaurant without a coloring book. This is one child that has as much empathy for everyone as her father. "daddy what is wrong, daddy are you okay?" Then again, on those days when I ask her to go to bed cos its already 9pm, she shakes her head in despair and goes "Daddy, its not fair" Well, nothing in life is fair my child, not the least, you staying up and preventing me from studying and then giving your mother hell in the morning when she wakes you up to give you a bath.!!!

A School in Cote D'Ivoire is Missing a Prostitute

There is a school in Cote D'Ivoire missing a prostitute. University of Cocody? I am surprised she did not say her father died in the Bellview flight while on business in Nigeria or something like that.Once I read the line that said her father was king, I knew that the millions of dollars he left behind were not far behind. (pun seriously intended). The princess is smart sha, harvard material, somehow her father knew he was poisoned because of his wealth and of course, she should find a mugu who will believe the whole royal crap.

Notice how she says Shell Petroluem Dev. Company sends money to her popsie, a king in Cote Divoire but SPDC does not even operate there!!!!! Liar Liar Pants on Fire!!! Shell has operations in Abidjan but not SPDC which just happens to be a Nigerian operation. When will these thieves leave us alone. Princess Jessica....School's Out!!!


From: "jessica_sangare@voila.fr [jessica_sangare@mail333.com]" To: jessica_sangare@mail333.comSubject: PLEASE READ THIS MASSAGE,Date: Sat, 5 Nov 2005 03:22:54 +0300 (MSK)FROM MISS JESSICA SANGAREABIDJAN COTE D'IVOIRE WEST AFRICADear Friend,Good day and Compliments,I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is thewish of God for you to help me and my family, God almighty will blessand reward you aboundantly and you would never regreat this.I am a female student from University of COCODY,COTE D'IVOIRE. I am20 yrs old. I' dO like any person who can be caring, loving and homeoriented. I will love to have a long-term relationship with you andto know more about you. I would like to build up a solid foundationwith you in time coming if you can be able to help me in thistransaction.Well, my father died earliEr Died on 12/2/2004 ago and left I and myjunior brother behind. He was a king, which our town citizens titledhim over sixteen years before his death. blessed moemory.My fatherwsa a very Wealthy Coca Merchant base in Abidjan the Economic Capitalof Ivory Coast But befor he was the assistan Director of cafe andcocoa exporting INC,I was a princess to him and I am the only person who can take care ofhis wealth now because my junior brother is still young and my motheris not literate enough to know all my father's wealth. He left thesum of USD 14,350, 000.00 dollars (Fourteen Million, Three Hundredand Fifty Thousand US Dollars)in the custody of a security companyHere In Abidjan the capital city of Cote D'ivoire. but befor myfather give up the ghost He also explian to me that it was because ofthis wealth that he was poisoned by one of our family Brother whowant to take over the Kingship from my father, he advice me that Ishould seek for a foriegn Partner in any Country of my choice Where iwill Transfer this Money and used it for investment Purpose,(SUCH ASREAL ESTATE MANAGEMENT).And make sure that I and my Jenior BrotherCompleted our education,This money was annually paid into my late fathers account from Shellpetroleum development company(spdc)and chevron oil company operatingin our locality for the compensation of youth and communitydevelopment in our jurisdiction.I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere inabroad, so that my father's kindred will not take over what belongsto my father and our family, which they were planning to do withoutmy present because I am a female as stated by our culture in thetown.Now, I urgently need your humble assistance to move this money fromthe security company to your bank account and I strongly believe thatby the grace of God, you will help me invest this money wisely.I am ready to pay 15% of the total amount to you if you help us inthis transaction and another 10% interest of Annual After Income toyou, for handling this transaction for us, which you will stronglyhave absolute control over.If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assistme in lifting this fund, kindly reach me.Please, note that this transaction is 100% risk free and I hope tocommence the transaction as quick as possible, I will send you myPersonal international Passport as well as Other Important Documentas to proof you of the legality of this transaction,NB:I ALSO BELIEVE THAT THIS TRANSACTION WOULD BE CONCLUDED WITHINSEVEN (7)WORKING DAYS IF YOU SIGNIFY INTEREST TO ASSIST ME.please for security purpose respond witrh my private email address:(jessica_sangare@voila.fr)Yours sincerely,Princess Jessica (ms.

The MPR What, Backpacks and Other Stories

DId I say I was going to study for the MPRE yesterday? Well I fell asleep while doing a practice test. I wonder if that could possibly happen to me while I am taking the actual exam.


That means more work for me today. The only thing is we are editing the journal and thats occupying my time this morning. If you can believe it, I am taking a break in class, well, my makeup class. I had two make up classes today and had to choose one to go to, it wasnt supposed to happen since Professors usually check the registrar's office for student conflict. Either the system did not work in this case or one prof. did not check.

Oh, yesterday, I was reading Red Eye and there was a column where the columnist discussed people who bring big bags on the cta. She asked people to respond, many did, berating the backpack carriers, laptop laden briefcase toting people and other huge bag carriers. Well, I decided to respond as well and my email is reproduced below:

http://www.redeyechicago.com/public.htm

Hi Kyra,

I am in law school at Northwestern Univ. and as a result, have a lot of books to carry.
Personally, I would rather have two sets of books, one at home and one at school, (like one of my classmates did in our first year) so I dont have to carry anything but until Congress appropriates more money for me or my father becomes a surgeon like my classmates father, its one set of books.

I was on the bus one day when a lady gave me the looks and said I may tear her panty hose with my book bag!!! I looked at her..nicely and given that we Northwestern people are nice, did not say what I would have said if I wasnt so constrained, which is "here is $5, go to walmart and buy yourself extras just in case my backpack tears your pantyhose."

No matter how I carry my books, rollerbag, bookbag, shopping bag or no bag, no one will be happy. People don't even seem to be happy when they see you carry your bag!! On another note, I once entered the #3 on my way to school, I left my book bag at the front of the bus on the lugguage space (some buses have them) and sat in the back. Seeing how beautiful Chicago is, my concentration was outside admiring the city when I realized we were stopped at Randolph and Michigan and my bag was about to be tossed out because it was an "unattended lugguage" and could pose a terrorist threat to the good citizens of bus #3 and the people around us.

I still carry my backpack while I am still in school but not to worry Chicago, I graduate next semester and will suffer you no more but I must warn you, I will be trading in my backpack for a briefcase!!

Dozie Okpalaobieri
Lived in Bronzeville and now take the CTA/Metra out to Wheeling.
By the way, taking the metra is a different story altogether!!!


I got that off my chest and she did reply...nice lady!! The original article is below:

November 1, 2005Fighting oversized items on the CTA? It's in the bagThey're big. They're bulky. They can hurt people. I'm not talking about club bouncers. I'm talking about supersized bags on the CTA. Some people board the "L" and buses as if they're headed on a four-year mountain expedition. They could probably fit a sleeping bag, an inflatable tent and a lifetime supply of beef jerky into their biggie bags. Even when these riders exercise caution, they often smack fellow riders in the face or bruise ribs as they seek out seats. The issue has inflamed quite a few "Going Public" readers. Just ask Leslie Mitchell. The 5-foot-2 rider says she has suffered repeated attacks while on the "L." "I've been clocked numerous times in the head by tall men's (and women's) briefcases, backpack, designer handbags," writes 36-year-old Mitchell. "My calves have been permanently dinged by those damn rolling suitcase-size computer totes." Rider Joan Gorrell suggests that the backpacks serve no real purpose. "Shopping bags are an occasional necessity for all," writes Gorrell, who lives in Jefferson Park. "People with luggage on the way to the airport have a legitimate reason—but the backpackers—urrrggghhhh!" But before the backpackers go ballistic, I'm sure nobody is suggesting that all big bags—unless airport-related—should be banned. Of course we should make an exception for local students who are wielding a wide load in the interest of education ... as long as they don't block the doors. But for those of us who are not studying or traveling out of state, it's time to unload the excess baggage. I've come up with some big, bulky ideas about how we can do that. Riders, feel free to weigh in on the discussion. Bring in the baggage sizers Airlines have no problem asking passengers to limit bag size, so why can't the CTA? Why not place baggage sizers outside "L" turnstiles and in front of bus stops? No hard and fast rules on dimensions, but I would say that if you could carry a 5-year-old onboard in your bag, then it's too big. Ladies, oversized handbags are all the rage, but if you're able to transport your entire makeup and medicine cabinet stash in those things, it's time to downsize. That, or risk the ire of one Logan Square rider who's really peeved over purses. "I cannot count the number of times I've felt a poke in MY armpit or MY ribcage from some dumb broad's enormous leather bag," writes 25-year-old Jennifer Bacher. "Hold it in front of you, or put it on the damn floor." Punish carry-on crimes So, you still want to tote a Sherpa's load for a four-stop odyssey to work? Think it's not your fault if some 4-year-old and his grandpa get gouged in the eye with your backpack strap? Under my new rules, riders who harm others with their packs would walk a gauntlet down "L" or bus aisles while being poked and pushed by their peers. If you don't accept this punishment, you'll be ejected from the CTA until you get a smaller bag or learn how to maneuver without mowing down innocent bystanders. Mandatory show & tell I can already hear the executive types complaining that their employers are the ones forcing them to cart laptops, mobile phones and a tome of documents on their daily commute. It's not their fault they need another seat just for their briefcases. I hear you, brothers and sisters. At the end of the day, we're all working for The Man. But my new bag policy is prove it or lose it. Every rider with an overly heavy load would have to open their bag for their fellow riders, announce its contents and let the majority rule on whether or not it's justified for their job. So if you're really hiding your rare rock collection or a hundred Beanie Babies in your briefcase, repent now and save yourself some shame. How would you deal with big bag-wielding bullies? Do you feel entitled to your behemoth bags because you've paid your way to ride on the CTA? Send your opinion—along with your name, age and neighborhood—to kkyles@tribune.com. E-mail Kyra Kyles at kkyles@tribune.com

My negotitiations class had a joint class with Prof. Maloney's class today. I was getting so much love from my students. Apparently, Merlin had sent an email out to everyone telling them how hard I have worked and how overwhelmed I was. It was very much appreicated. I was begining to thank my starts that I dont have the ability to blush. It may seem surprising but sometimes, I am actually a shy person. I know I know...Jumoke actually told me yesterday that I schmooze way too much, according to her, I am a verbal social butterfly. (Cue song...I believe I can fly....). It's funny though, some days I like to hang out and talk, sometimes I just like to be laid back and not say much. Those are the days I want to go to the movie theatre and watch a movie alone. Let me go and study my MPRE, thats looming.....Are you ethical?

Starbucks - The New McDonalds

Okay, so I went to Starbucks this morning and the lady at he counter asked me what I wanted. I told her I needed a "Grande White Mocha with whipcream". Do you know what she asked me next? "What size"!!!!



What part of Grande did she not understand especially since I always see here there so I know she has worked there for a while. What size? Hmm, maybe I should have said Venti so that when she does give that to me, I would just pay for what I initially asked for...the customer is always right, right?

















Lately, I have been reading the newspapers more, well, actually I prefer the free ones www.redeyechicago.com and you see all these news items about celebrity couples breaking up! Well, lately and I think this may have started with Tom Cruise or was it Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, anyway, now when couples break up they put out a Press Release that always includes the phrase "The couple remains close and asks that you respect their privacy at this difficult time." They remain close yet its a difficult time..hmm sounds like a booty call to me, besides whats so private about it if you decide to share with us all, we have a right to ask why? when? what happened? Who dumped who?








Our latest victim is Gabrielle Union, that fine specimen of a black woman. Who would dump a woman like that? Her now former husband who is a football player for the Jacksonville Jaguars ought to have his head knocked on the football field. But I digress...

Okay, another day, another time. Whats my beef today? Well Butt Cracks!!! Yeah!! What is it with people who don't wear their pants properly. There is this fine woman sitting in front of me and her butt crack is winking at me. I can't help but look and it just looks like an eye that is looking back at me. Now if this was a guy whose zipper was down, I could tell him to zip up but who am I to tell a woman that her pants are down and she should pull it up or pull her shirt over it. Oh, the lady in front of me just did that. Pulled her top over her pants. Maybe my eyes were begining to bore a hole in her butt crack. Things that make me go hmmm.




I am in an interesting class so I really should be listening. Oh by the way, I was just reading Puja's blog, oh Puja is a lady in my school, I feel like saying she is a girl cos she is just so small...anyway, she has this blog that I now read everyday, she is going on a trip to South African with others from school including her used to be boyfriend, our SBA President, the ever vivacious Borchien. Now Puja is thinking of feeding Borchien to the lions in South African when they travel as payback for breaking up with her. A woman scorned.....



Oh by the way, Puja's blog is http://www.xanga.com/indian_masala

Enjoy...

I always seem to write my blogs just before or right after Legal Ethics. I would write it during legal ethics but we have no internet connection in that classroom which is a good thing too cos everyone would be on ESPN checking the scores of Monday night football.

I see some students playing Solitaire, others just do email on outlook so they can send it later when they get a connection. Me? I just pay rapt attention to everything the professor says even though I blank out every 5 minutes and think about the Hageen Daaz Cookies and Cream ice cream in my fridge which I will be consume later while I am watching the episode of law and order which I recorded last night.

Responsibility. Thats a word that some find difficult to understand. Some think it is a word that is meaningless. When people depend on you, it is a powerful word. I am working with someone who literally has no clue and does not seem to know what is expected of their position.

What am I rambling about? Well, I am on a journal at school and we all have duties and well..let me put it this way: If for some reason, we took all the letter "o" off the keyboard, this is how this phrase will look!!::: If fr sme reasn, we tk all the letter "" ff the keybard, this is hw this phrase will lk!! Okay, maybe it will have partial meaning if you are slightly intelligent butI hope I made my point.

To digress, I have a nasty cold and have been sneezing all day. I am either allergic to the above individual or I just really have a cold. Most people sneeze twice in a row when they do sneeze, I am averaging 5 sneezes per episode...now thats embarrassing when you are doing that in class. I wont blame my classmates who want to cover their nose. I would actually have loved to skip my last class but I am sure the professor wouldnt have bought it if I told him I was sick and trying to sneeze in his presence may seem like I am faking it!! Hmm, what to do, well I went to class and kept sneezing, I think I had 4 episodes for twenty sneeze. You think I can sell the DVD of that....yeah, me funny joke, me make you think you all wet....literally.

Did I tell you yesterday that whoever said that your life as a 3L would be easier lied...they lied through their teeth. I need to lobby my congressman to see if we can extend the day by another 3hours. On second thoughts, that may not be a good idea. Can you imagine what a law firm would do with that? You think you have to do a minimum of 2000 hours a year, well now, they would just increase it to 3000 hours if we extended the day any further. I am sure they would even advocate a day to make it 8 days a week. Now what would you call that day. For some reason, Zomday comes to mind. Wait let me ask Merlin what he thinks: Merlin has no idea, I will let him think about it and call him in 5 years after we have racked up approximately a combined 22,ooo hours at our firms.

Come to think of it, you know how the pollution problem was "solved" in the United States a couple of years back? You were only allowed to pollute a certain amount but if you polluted more, you could buy pollution rights from someone who polluted less...are you with me? okay, take that concept to law firms....If you are unable to make your firms 2000 hour requirement, why cant you just call up your law school buddy at another firm or better yet, within your firm and buy his extra hours from him or her. Now you may have to pay them the equivalent of their expected bonus for hitting their hours but at least you will have the hours to avoid being tagged as a loser-slacker!!!! Neat idea hmmm but will our egos allow it??? My hours are bigger than yours!!

Okay, my students should be coming back soon, so I have to pretend like I have been thinking about Negotiations for the past 75mins they have been negotiating. I love this class!!!

Some has to pay!!! Someone lied to me and said that the third year would be easier. If this is what they call easy, then they have something coming to them.

I am in my Legal Ethics class which if you ask me is pretty much like taking a class in Military Intelligence. If you know that terrorists are about to attack, then bomb the living daylights out of them. If you have a client that wants to commit a crime (remember Enron?), by all means, hit them over the head with reality and if they dont want to listen, then withdraw from the case!! Diligent advocacy be damned. Then again, what do I know? I am not yet a lawyer.

The number of students who attend this class keeps dwindling. I swear that we were way more than this and now, it seems some students have resorted to coming to this class every other week. I know one student who has come once in August, Once in September, he has not made an appearance for October yet but we still have two classes to go this month so many he plans on coming for one of them.

Even those in class don't seem to be serious. The number of solitaire cards I see on the screen would please a Vegas Casino. The two ladies in front of me are pretending to type notes but they are actually writing notes to each other. They make the font big enough for them to read but I can read that from two rows back. Yeah, I've got 20/20 vision. They are busy discussing some guy who wears tank tops to show off his chest!! Don't hate ladies, if he's got it, gotta flaunt it!!

Did I tell you that wireless classrooms are the bane of professors but a lifesaver for students when they encounter a snoozy class. Its so obvious though that you are shopping for Gucci bags with your financial aid money even if you do nod your head every 6 minutes.

Today I had meetings earlier and resolving issues are never easy. I have to meet with the Dean soon to let him know what we are doing a la our symposium, he happens to be our faculty advisor so I want to make sure he knows what's going on. I have to give it to the guy though, he certain is true to form in letting students run the activities on campus and makes a point not to be imposing.

Time Flies

Time Flies.....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I flew into Boston from Kenya on September 11, 1992. It was my first time here in 16 years and I spent my first few dollars($19.40 to be exact) to pay the taxi driver who transported me to the YMCA. A twenty minute journey became nearly an hour because of the traffic. Everything was stagnant except of course, the meter in the taxi. It was then I became one of the many victims of Boston taxis. Where I come from, taxi fares are negotiated prior to the journey and even if you get stuck in traffic for 2 hours, you still pay the same agreed price. I had come to Boston five days earlier so that I could have a good look at my new environment before OASIS(Orientation Assistance for International Students) began. I spent my first few days admiring the university buildings, knowing their names, walking down to Copley and do a little shopping.

One of the first important things I did was to try and call my parents in Kenya to let them know that I had arrived safely. I tried calling collect (I am sure many students prefer doing that) but unfortunately that did not work because Kenya does not accept collect calls from the United States. I was almost frustrated but thanks to David Enderlin of the International Student Office, I was able to find a solution to it and was able to call my parents. The OASIS program aimed at introducing international students to the United States and to the university was in my opinion, a success. The ISO staff did everything possible to see that we had a smooth transition into school. We also had different activities arranged for us like rides on the T (it was helpful for me since I could not tell the difference between the inbound and the outbound trains), we went to some restaurants, there was a harbor cruise and various other activities which I very much enjoyed. I take this opportunity to say "Thumbs Up" to the staff at the ISO office and the people who volunteered to help us around. I hope to serve as a volunteer for the next OASIS program.

In trying to buy things I needed for school, I was dazzled in every store I went to. Everything seemed extremely expensive to me and I am sure this happens to every new international student because of what I would call the "currency conversion factor." On one occasion, I walked into CVS and tried to buy a notebook which cost $1.99. On converting this to Kenyan shillings, I discovered that this amount could buy about 30 notebooks of the same size in Kenya. Initially, this problem prevented me from buying a lot of things but I stopped doing any conversions and I got on with life. Coming to the United States was like a red carpet welcome to the world of taxes. I could not fathom why I had to pay tax on such trivial items as sweets and cookies. I never had to pay taxes on every little purchase even though I know that every government charge some sort of hidden tax, but let no one tell me that I am not in Kenya.

Our first few weeks after orientation was one of mixed emotions. Everyone seemed to be trying to cope, dealing with different cultures at the same time. People were trying to make friends, some that would last for years and some that would not stand the test of time. Since then, many friendships have been made and broken. I can not say for sure how many large pizzas with multiple toppings we ordered, but most of us lavished our husky accounts on Domino's, most at time at 1 a.m in the morning. False fire alarms including the real one when a fire broke out in Speare hall last week, have been driving me nuts all year! Going down to Jordan Marsh, Sears and Filene's basement was an adventure, there was a lot to buy but I also had budget constraint. Somebody once defined a budget as "a plan for going broke methodically." He could not have defined it better. There were many departmental meetings held, I met my very helpful advisor (even though having an academic advisor was a new phenomenon to me) and as soon as I selected my courses, classes started in earnest. My first class, an introduction to logic class, was a stunner. The philosophy professor was very brash and he gave us his draconian philosophies of work. He lectured us about how not to bug his life and he surely started my classroom experience in Northeastern on a wrong footing.

Being an African, I was asked and I am still being asked a variety of questions concerning culture, language and living styles, which a Jamaican friend of my mine, David Riley, has termed "American questions", if you get his drift. You get questions like "how did you learn how to speak English?","Do you live on treetops on in huts back home?", "How did you get to the U.S.?" You know, some people do really think we Africans swing on trees and then swim, from Africa till we get to "God's own country", while someone actually asked me if I swam or biked the whole way. Listening to this, I envisioned U.S. customs officials on different trees on all the routes to the United States and could not help thinking how a lot of us need to be correctly informed. To the question about living in huts or the jungle, I will just make two comments, one, our countries all have modern cities and rural areas just like the U.S. and two, I want you for a moment to imagine that you live in another country and that all you are shown on television about the U.S. are news or documentaries of people living in the Nevada desert (hopefully, you will know where this is), a few rugged houses and tents here and there. I am sure you get the picture.

One point I will like to make clear is though I am one African country, it does not mean that I know your friend who's from Zimbabwe or from any other African country. A lot of people I have talked to seem to think that Africa is one big playground where everyone knows each other. I bet you do not know my friend who lives in Alaska. My friends, Africa is a continent with about 52 countries, with borders! You need a passport to travel from one African country to another just like you would need one to travel to Mexico. I have come to realize that it is probably no fault of yours, but that of the media. In my 9 months here, the only times anything African was shown on television was when U.S. troops went to Somalia and when NBC featured a one week long documentary on Zimbabwe.

I have learnt quite a lot, and after nearly a year of teaching "African Studies" without pay, I will carry the memories of this first year and will surely have a lot to tell my parents who I have not seen in a long while. I now look forward to the summer break, as time flies.

Leaning Tower of Northeastern

On this campus where most of us spend at least the four years, there are a lot of things that go unnoticed in our daily lives. Structurally speaking, I am talking about the leaning lamp on the corner of Greenleaf and Forsyth street and which is right next to the art and sciences building. I have passed this lamp for all the years I have been in this school but never really thought anything of it. I realize that the pain of walking from my Huntington Avenue apartment to Ryder for my 8am class has made me notice quite a few things. I then wonder what more I would observe if I lived in a place like Kennedy Hall.

Whenever I see the leaning lamp, it serves to represent a lot of things to me. For one, the lamp seems to be leaning in order to reach out to something I cannot explain. I see myself in the lamp in the sense that I like to reach out to people, my fellow students and furthermore to get them to be involved in student activities. I like to get involve because I have had the experience to know that I manage and use time more efficiently and do better in school when I am an active member of a student group or when I participate in community service as opposed to when I am inactive and I think of everything but tend to do nothing. So for one, the leaning lamp is saying, go out there and get involved.

Secondly, I see the lamp as representing the student body. During the recent workstudy impasse, when the school administrators decided to put our money where their mouths were, the students quickly came together and "leaned" on the school administration to do something about it. We must have leaned so hard for it to rain $130,000, which the provost figures will enable students to now work up to 20 hours a week. As for me, I have leaned on my parents for a while and unfortunately, it does not rain that heavy. Sometimes I have to look up and sing "send down the rain."

Unfortunately, it is not all the time that the leaning lamp represents good for students. The leaning tower has come to represent the school administration. The ever increasing and high tution and fees placed on us by the school and the weight of our personal problems connive to knock the wind out of most of us. With the weight of our education rested heavily but uneasily on how shoulders, I begin to wonder how many actually benefit from their education once they graduate considering that someone who majored in Finance may well end up answering the telephone at Maxwells. Graduation is around the corner and believe me, a lot of seniors are like the green train at a red light, they want to go but cannot move. One graduating senior I talked to wants to go to business school but that is not possible now for three main reasons. One, she cannot afford to go since she does not want to be further in debt, two, she is yet to repay the thousands she owe in her undergraduate loans and thirdly, she needs a job to pay off her loans but there is none forthcoming. So what does she do? You may call it a dilemma but I call it a crisis in American higher education. As graduation day approaches, you are likely to see some seniors shedding tears. The left eye will shed tears of joy, rejoicing that the finished line has been reached while the right eye will shed tears of sorrow, an acknowledgement that they are just about to begin another race. The race to pay off their student loans and the race to begin a new life.

Lastly, the leaning lamp represents Northeastern as a whole. A school trying to stand up straight and provide more students. It would be an understatement to say that a number of things are lacking on campus. The computer labs are a case in point. I need to know why we do not have a 24 hour lab. We have to deal with the fact that the lab closes at 12 midnight on most days of the week. Take David, a typical day college student who belongs to a student organization. He has classes all morning, he spends his afternoon dealing with organization matters, he spends this time planning activities that enhances Northeastern's image. He goes to the library after his dinner ends at 7pm. He puts in three hours of study and heads over to the computer lab to do some work. Two hours later and halfway through his work, David is kicked out of the lab. At some other school, David would have finished his work and would not have to give his professor any excuse.

The same problem applies to the library. At 12 midnight, students are basically evicted from the library. Only a small section of the first floor is left open till 2am. Since my freshman year, I have been looking for the ingenious genius who figured that all the students on the second through the fourth floor would fit in the small section of the library that is left open after midnight. If you are one of those who has a roommate that turns in early, then you would know that short of studying on the library quad with light from the student center, you might as well go to sleep with your work undone. My suggestion is to ask for student volunteers and I am sure there will be some and if the second through the fourth floor has to be closed, why not leave the entire first floor open. This would prevent the library looking like a refugee camp after midnight. I am sure we dont have to perform the half-moon dance in order to get something done about this.

To Northeastern, I say "stand up straight, didn't your parents teach you not to lean!!! Whenever you see that leaning lamp between Forsyth and Greenleaf street, take a look at it, it could mean something to you.

Titbits from Boarding School

ONE.


Nepa had taken light that night so I was actually changing in the dark, everyone was talking in a hushed tone so that the senior next door would not hear them. All my other mates were tucked in their beds. In the process of Changing, Tomi (he was in SS2 then) walks to the divider between our rooms and shouts "One boy, last to come" I was still putting on my trouser so I could not run. It was dark so everyone else pretended to be sleeping. I was the only one standing. Tomi did not see anyone run so he came into the room and saw me.

"Are you deaf, did you not hear me"

"Am coming, I was just changing"

"You are a baggar!!!you must think I am joking with you, follow me"

I followed him to the next room which was also dark. As Tomi got to his bed, he swirled around and landed a "nice one" on my cheek. We used to joke around saying "If I slap you, you'll see stars" but that day Tomi slapped me, I really saw stars, and they twinkled too." I dont remember how many they were but I stopped counting because they were twinkling so fast.



TWO.


For some reason, we all use to get the munchies before going to bed each night. Niyi Akintolu had bought his sugarcane, Diran bought his garri and ekpa (groundnut), Yusuf always had an endless supply of Kellogs Cornflakes (Top of the line) and he was a miser too because he used to sweat on his nose. Now Segun had the best gari you could ever come across, it is condusive to smoking and swelling. If you add milk and ekpa, you will be high for the rest of the night: Ijebu Gari, you cant find anything better anywhere else. If you have money, you should invest in Ijebu gari.

Anyway, everyone is eating quietly for two reasons. They dont want to be "contoured" by someone else and secondly, you dont want to be caught by a senior otherwise you will end up with a 20% stake in your own food as opposed to 100%. We used to call that Silent Gwazing, eating alone and in silence. Everyone was capable of eating quietly but Niyi had sugar cane so all you heard from his mosquito net was the slurshing of someone sucking juice out of the cane. So when Christopher Oloyingbo (Senior terrorist of Senegal House) walked into the room, he asked who that was. You could hear a pin drop.

"Oya, if you are sleeping raise up your hand"

Sorry Christo, we are not that stupid
"Eh ehn, you are all joking with me, all of you get down"


Some people got down but my name wasn't "all of you" so I stayed put.

Christo decided to beat the rest of us out of our pretend sleep. I must have rubbed my eyes so much because my eyes turned red enough to convince him I was actually sleeping. He lined us against the wall and proceeded to interrogate us. One by one we denied the said noise. He got to Niyi and Niyi fessed up quick "IT was my blanket that was talking" You know Christo did not find that funny so Niyi spent the rest of the night under Christo's bed while Christo ate his sugar cane and the remainng gari he was able to get from Segun.



THREE.


Dele's reply reminded me of another incident. Why is it that whenever one of your seniors failed, repeated and became your mate, the person was almost treated like trash or should I say there was a lot of disrespect. It happened a lot at my school. A guy who I will call Tunde was repeating for the second time. My set was the second that was catching up with him. He was in Niger house and one night he decided to soak gari in a cup, put it under his bed and leave it to swell. He had a complete set (Gari, sugar, grounut and milk) The guy must have been really hungry because he fell asleep waiting for the gari to reach maximum optimization.

In comes Tobinson, hungry on a friday night, he had no energy to even do his bathroom duty for saturday inspection. As he walked past Tunde's bed, he thought he saw the reflection of water from under Tunde's bed but he checked to make sure. Jackpot. Garium Sulphate with its complements. He swiped the gari and walked away, two minutes later he came back with tunde's cup filled to the brim with water. He walked away and ate the whole thing which he had transfered into another bowl. Tunde woke up when junior boys were moving his bed with him on it. "Where's my gari????" The junior boys told him. Tobinson had threatened them and had told them to tell Tunde that the house master who so happened to be there had seized it. Gari was illegal so there was no way of him challenging the house master.



FOUR.


Did you ever have to smuggle food out of the dining hall for seniors. I did it a lot and even my school father had me smuggling his food. He got two loaves of bread but I used to eat one and say that it was seized or that it got crumbled where I hid it.

Mr. Ohakanu was our dining hall master. His presence was enough to make you kaka in your drowse even if you were not doing anything wrong. One morning he came to the DH unannounced and came to my house area. We use to seat according to our houses. He knew Senegal house was reknowned for all the food smugglers. Mr. Ohakanu climbed one table in our area and started starring at everyone one by one. The man must have had a ninth sense. He can sniff bread anywhere. He turned to Samson (An ajebutter who had just come from Yankee) and said where are you hiding it??


"I am not hiding anything sir"
"YOu think I am a fool...?"
"No Sir, No Sir"


Mr. Ohakanu bent down towards Samson....thunder slap and headbutt and bread started falling out of Samson's shirt and socks. Yes his socks, people used to hide bread everywhere. In their socks, pants and I am not talking trousers, I am talking underwear, in between their body and their elbow, some even used it as shoulder pads but seeing as we did not have Football players, that was the easiest way to get caught. Samson ended up on detention for three weeks.

Two weeks later, it was Victor Jakpa's turn. Jakpa was smuggling Ewa (Beans) for the 2 most notorious boys in the schools. He always had 2 full plates of food. It was tuesday afternoon so we had eaten beans. Jakpa's tactics for smuggling was to remain in the DH till everyone had left before he even went out. He hoped by then Mr. Ohakanu would have gone home. Na lie. Meanwhile, Raymond and Osahon were waiting for their beans. They had already chanced some junior boys of gari and they had their loaves of bread from ther morning. Jakpa carried the two hefty plates of beans and walked out. Mr Ohakanu who was talking to the kitchen staff in the corner outside saw him and turned his car around.
"Victor Jakpa, come here" Jakpa froze. "...Where do you think you are going with that food?"
"Emmmm mm"
"Whose food is it?" It was an abomination to reveal the names of the seniors you were smuggling food for in my school
"Its my own sir, all the people on my table did not come" "I see, okay sit down"
"What sir??" not sure he heard right
"I say sit down and bring out your cutlery"
Jakpa was not sure what Mr Ohakanu had in mind.
"Since its your own, Start eating"
After protesting several times, Jakpa started eating.
Jakpa ate, ate, ate until he had almost cleaned the two plates of beans. Mr. Ohakanu had made him eat almost a plate and half of beans until he could take it no more.
"If I ever catch you again, taking food out, you will be sorry, next time you see food, you will run. I trust you have enough protein to last you a lifetime. Now go and observe your siesta."
The poor boy could not move and he still had a story to tell when he got to the dorms.

The End

Who Stole My Milk?

Anyone who went to Boarding school in Nigeria will tell you how much fun it was. Thats after they have forgotten the hell they went through as junior students. FGC Kaduna was no different, a lot of things happened there and you could never stop telling stories about your experiences.

Theft was always a problems at my school. Whenever a thief was caught, it was swift justice. People just produced their belts, make you leap frog until your knees give out. Anyhow the problem was always when the thief was your classmate especially as a Senior. One time, the headboy was wrongly accused of Stealing someone's radio (it was a big deal then). They beat him up beyond recognition and I have never seen a swollen human head till that day. Needless to say, the school put an end to swift justice as we knew it then.

Thats when students resorted to Atangwari. You see, Atangwari was a native doctor/witchdoctor in Malali Village which was the area bodering FGCK. Students figured that if they could not go the direct way, they would go indirectly via Atangwari.

So Tope's Provisions got stolen one school day, actually during exam period. I think I had English Paper 1 that day. Tope was our house captain and who would dare steal from the house captain himself. They shut down the whole dorm that afternoon and began a box to box search of JSS1 to SSS1 students (as if the idiot who stole it would keep it in his box) To Tope, he did not really care about his garri (garri-G2SO4 qualifies as provision) that was stolen but his NIDO (milk)was important to him and woe betide the thief.

Anyway, Tope and two other classmates went to Malali to see Atangwari. Back in the dorm, we were all anxious to know who Atangwari exposed as the thief. Tope and his men came back almost two hours later with a smile of vengeance on their faces.

"Omo wetin e talk"
"We go catch am tomorrow"
"Why tomorrow, why una no fit go catch am now"
"Atangwari said, he who stole my milk shall get up in the exam hall while he is on question 25" "huh?????"


Apparently, Atangwari had concocted something that would make the guy stang up in the middle of his exam, how he came about question 25 is beyond me but I suppose 25 is the halfway mark in the exam since we normally had 50 questions on our multiple choice exams.

The physics exam started at 8am. Everyone was excited. You could hear the teachers wondering why the usually bored students were hyped up about physics. Even Wilfred was on top of the world. He had slept through a whole term of physics and here he was excited. The teachers had a right to be surprised. Meanwhile, you could hear students whispering "Atangwari said...." It became a slogan.

"Now that I have read out the instructions, I just want to say one thing, You may look up for inspiration, you may look down in desperation, but you may not look sideways for information, you may pick your pencils and start." Invigilators were such a pain.

The whole hall was quite, not a peep from anyone. You could see eyes shifting left and right but it was not to steal answers from anyone. Not long into the Exam, Aminu Yaro stood up. Till today, we are not quite sure what number he was on but he was nonetheless labeled guilty. His standing most probably halted the exam cos as soon as he did, the whole hall was abuzz.

"What is happening?" an invigilator asked. "Ehn, Atangwari said..."
"Ata who???"


The guy kept quite. Tope stood up and proceeded to explain to the invigilator what this was all about. Meanwhile, the exam had stopped. They ended up in the principals office, the physics paper was resheduled and Atangwari was summoned (he probably thot he was getting paid). The principal asked for the logic behind his conclusion. If you ask me, that was stupid of our principal. How can you ask a witchdoctor for logic. Anyway, he berated Atangwari, Tope and the rest of our classmates and he banned us from going to Atangwari to solve any of our problems.

"Atangwari said......!!!!!!!!"

Keep up the faith.

Today was the first day of my Summer Internship. I am a Summer Associate at one of the Chicago law firms. Since I don't know yet what this blog may contain, the firm will remain nameless for now. We had different partners come and talk to us and of course we got our requisite deluge of papers. So much for computers saving us from papers.

We rounded out the day with dinner at a nice restaurant and it was then the day just started. I walked past a table in the restaurant and lo and behold, there was Don King having dinner. I did a double take, well, he seemed to have had a bit of a haircut....Anyway, I went back to my table where the other associates were and told them that I had indeed seen the man himself.

Not quite 30 minutes later, who walks into our room!!!! Yeah, you got it, Don King himself accompanied by Jesse White, the Secretary of State for Illinois..of course he started out with a disclaimer...he can't help us with the parking tickets or DUI but for anything else, there's Jesse White.....

I just turned to one of the associates at the firm after Jesse and Don King left and asked "Where do I sign up?"

I have a 25 paged paper to complete...it has been hard getting motivation to finish this paper, actually I confess, starting it is a problem but it is easier to think about finishing. Where is Harry Potter and his magic wand when you need him?

It is 10am, I have just finished watching the last season of Third Watch...looks like that show is getting cancelled or something...then Law and Order-Trial by Jury just concluded, I am not sure how different "TBJ" is from the other law and order series. I also have a problem with the proliferation of law and order. It makes it hard to follow, I used to only have to look forward to Wednesdays but now its Sunday: Criminal Intent, Tueday : SVU and Friday:TBJ....Thank goodness for DVD, I just wait for the season to come out on DVD and buy it and watch one season in three days.

Now about that Virgin Mary image under the bridge at Fullerton and the Kennedy expressway....I need to pilgrimage there for my lottery numbers. Anyway, let me get out of here till I have nothing better to say later.

It is the end of the semester, I still have one paper to write!! Dang,. I wished I had worked on it over spring break but alas, no motivation. I went to Bar Review - the end of semester bar review, that was interesting but once you get to know everyone, it is hard to have to say goodbye for the summer much less to our departing 3Ls.

The baby kept crying through the night, if only babies could talk and let us know where it hurts....As I am typing, am fatigued and need sleep since I didnt sleep a wink especially since I came back from bar review close to 3am...Meanwhile who says that married people dont go to clubs and dont stay out late? How old fashioned...that saying is the crutch of highly dependent people who cant do jack on their own and need that crutch....I didn't commit an offence so whats with the jail time?

Arrg, well let me finish my breakfast of wheatbread, egg and Kenyan tea.

PS. Did I tell you that my sister - the Doc - got me a blackberry for my birthday...cool gadget, I have not decided whether I will get my email on it yet but I am looking forward to hooking it up. My wife got me a replacement digital camera for the one that got stolen by the merry band of thieves at Atlanta Hartsfield Airport. Dont ever be dumb enough to check your camera in your lugguage...it makes you wonder what you could possibly check in that won't be stolen - what? dirty underwear??

Its another exam season again, actually, exams are coming to an end, I need to be more faithful to this blogging business. Half the time, I am actually doodling on paper so I might as well doodle here.

I have a take home exam that is so open ended as the US-Mexico border!! I am not sure how to begin to answer the questions and how to limit the number of pages but I think I will refrain from throwing in the kitchen sink.

I had planned to study in the library till late tonight but I forgot that I had moved to the surburbs. Dang, now I have to leave and catcht the metra, I guess I have to continue this tomorrow. I am tired and need to rest for a little while.