Time Flies.....
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I flew into Boston from Kenya on September 11, 1992. It was my first time here in 16 years and I spent my first few dollars($19.40 to be exact) to pay the taxi driver who transported me to the YMCA. A twenty minute journey became nearly an hour because of the traffic. Everything was stagnant except of course, the meter in the taxi. It was then I became one of the many victims of Boston taxis. Where I come from, taxi fares are negotiated prior to the journey and even if you get stuck in traffic for 2 hours, you still pay the same agreed price. I had come to Boston five days earlier so that I could have a good look at my new environment before OASIS(Orientation Assistance for International Students) began. I spent my first few days admiring the university buildings, knowing their names, walking down to Copley and do a little shopping.
One of the first important things I did was to try and call my parents in Kenya to let them know that I had arrived safely. I tried calling collect (I am sure many students prefer doing that) but unfortunately that did not work because Kenya does not accept collect calls from the United States. I was almost frustrated but thanks to David Enderlin of the International Student Office, I was able to find a solution to it and was able to call my parents. The OASIS program aimed at introducing international students to the United States and to the university was in my opinion, a success. The ISO staff did everything possible to see that we had a smooth transition into school. We also had different activities arranged for us like rides on the T (it was helpful for me since I could not tell the difference between the inbound and the outbound trains), we went to some restaurants, there was a harbor cruise and various other activities which I very much enjoyed. I take this opportunity to say "Thumbs Up" to the staff at the ISO office and the people who volunteered to help us around. I hope to serve as a volunteer for the next OASIS program.
In trying to buy things I needed for school, I was dazzled in every store I went to. Everything seemed extremely expensive to me and I am sure this happens to every new international student because of what I would call the "currency conversion factor." On one occasion, I walked into CVS and tried to buy a notebook which cost $1.99. On converting this to Kenyan shillings, I discovered that this amount could buy about 30 notebooks of the same size in Kenya. Initially, this problem prevented me from buying a lot of things but I stopped doing any conversions and I got on with life. Coming to the United States was like a red carpet welcome to the world of taxes. I could not fathom why I had to pay tax on such trivial items as sweets and cookies. I never had to pay taxes on every little purchase even though I know that every government charge some sort of hidden tax, but let no one tell me that I am not in Kenya.
Our first few weeks after orientation was one of mixed emotions. Everyone seemed to be trying to cope, dealing with different cultures at the same time. People were trying to make friends, some that would last for years and some that would not stand the test of time. Since then, many friendships have been made and broken. I can not say for sure how many large pizzas with multiple toppings we ordered, but most of us lavished our husky accounts on Domino's, most at time at 1 a.m in the morning. False fire alarms including the real one when a fire broke out in Speare hall last week, have been driving me nuts all year! Going down to Jordan Marsh, Sears and Filene's basement was an adventure, there was a lot to buy but I also had budget constraint. Somebody once defined a budget as "a plan for going broke methodically." He could not have defined it better. There were many departmental meetings held, I met my very helpful advisor (even though having an academic advisor was a new phenomenon to me) and as soon as I selected my courses, classes started in earnest. My first class, an introduction to logic class, was a stunner. The philosophy professor was very brash and he gave us his draconian philosophies of work. He lectured us about how not to bug his life and he surely started my classroom experience in Northeastern on a wrong footing.
Being an African, I was asked and I am still being asked a variety of questions concerning culture, language and living styles, which a Jamaican friend of my mine, David Riley, has termed "American questions", if you get his drift. You get questions like "how did you learn how to speak English?","Do you live on treetops on in huts back home?", "How did you get to the U.S.?" You know, some people do really think we Africans swing on trees and then swim, from Africa till we get to "God's own country", while someone actually asked me if I swam or biked the whole way. Listening to this, I envisioned U.S. customs officials on different trees on all the routes to the United States and could not help thinking how a lot of us need to be correctly informed. To the question about living in huts or the jungle, I will just make two comments, one, our countries all have modern cities and rural areas just like the U.S. and two, I want you for a moment to imagine that you live in another country and that all you are shown on television about the U.S. are news or documentaries of people living in the Nevada desert (hopefully, you will know where this is), a few rugged houses and tents here and there. I am sure you get the picture.
One point I will like to make clear is though I am one African country, it does not mean that I know your friend who's from Zimbabwe or from any other African country. A lot of people I have talked to seem to think that Africa is one big playground where everyone knows each other. I bet you do not know my friend who lives in Alaska. My friends, Africa is a continent with about 52 countries, with borders! You need a passport to travel from one African country to another just like you would need one to travel to Mexico. I have come to realize that it is probably no fault of yours, but that of the media. In my 9 months here, the only times anything African was shown on television was when U.S. troops went to Somalia and when NBC featured a one week long documentary on Zimbabwe.
I have learnt quite a lot, and after nearly a year of teaching "African Studies" without pay, I will carry the memories of this first year and will surely have a lot to tell my parents who I have not seen in a long while. I now look forward to the summer break, as time flies.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Leaning Tower of Northeastern
On this campus where most of us spend at least the four years, there are a lot of things that go unnoticed in our daily lives. Structurally speaking, I am talking about the leaning lamp on the corner of Greenleaf and Forsyth street and which is right next to the art and sciences building. I have passed this lamp for all the years I have been in this school but never really thought anything of it. I realize that the pain of walking from my Huntington Avenue apartment to Ryder for my 8am class has made me notice quite a few things. I then wonder what more I would observe if I lived in a place like Kennedy Hall.
Whenever I see the leaning lamp, it serves to represent a lot of things to me. For one, the lamp seems to be leaning in order to reach out to something I cannot explain. I see myself in the lamp in the sense that I like to reach out to people, my fellow students and furthermore to get them to be involved in student activities. I like to get involve because I have had the experience to know that I manage and use time more efficiently and do better in school when I am an active member of a student group or when I participate in community service as opposed to when I am inactive and I think of everything but tend to do nothing. So for one, the leaning lamp is saying, go out there and get involved.
Secondly, I see the lamp as representing the student body. During the recent workstudy impasse, when the school administrators decided to put our money where their mouths were, the students quickly came together and "leaned" on the school administration to do something about it. We must have leaned so hard for it to rain $130,000, which the provost figures will enable students to now work up to 20 hours a week. As for me, I have leaned on my parents for a while and unfortunately, it does not rain that heavy. Sometimes I have to look up and sing "send down the rain."
Unfortunately, it is not all the time that the leaning lamp represents good for students. The leaning tower has come to represent the school administration. The ever increasing and high tution and fees placed on us by the school and the weight of our personal problems connive to knock the wind out of most of us. With the weight of our education rested heavily but uneasily on how shoulders, I begin to wonder how many actually benefit from their education once they graduate considering that someone who majored in Finance may well end up answering the telephone at Maxwells. Graduation is around the corner and believe me, a lot of seniors are like the green train at a red light, they want to go but cannot move. One graduating senior I talked to wants to go to business school but that is not possible now for three main reasons. One, she cannot afford to go since she does not want to be further in debt, two, she is yet to repay the thousands she owe in her undergraduate loans and thirdly, she needs a job to pay off her loans but there is none forthcoming. So what does she do? You may call it a dilemma but I call it a crisis in American higher education. As graduation day approaches, you are likely to see some seniors shedding tears. The left eye will shed tears of joy, rejoicing that the finished line has been reached while the right eye will shed tears of sorrow, an acknowledgement that they are just about to begin another race. The race to pay off their student loans and the race to begin a new life.
Lastly, the leaning lamp represents Northeastern as a whole. A school trying to stand up straight and provide more students. It would be an understatement to say that a number of things are lacking on campus. The computer labs are a case in point. I need to know why we do not have a 24 hour lab. We have to deal with the fact that the lab closes at 12 midnight on most days of the week. Take David, a typical day college student who belongs to a student organization. He has classes all morning, he spends his afternoon dealing with organization matters, he spends this time planning activities that enhances Northeastern's image. He goes to the library after his dinner ends at 7pm. He puts in three hours of study and heads over to the computer lab to do some work. Two hours later and halfway through his work, David is kicked out of the lab. At some other school, David would have finished his work and would not have to give his professor any excuse.
The same problem applies to the library. At 12 midnight, students are basically evicted from the library. Only a small section of the first floor is left open till 2am. Since my freshman year, I have been looking for the ingenious genius who figured that all the students on the second through the fourth floor would fit in the small section of the library that is left open after midnight. If you are one of those who has a roommate that turns in early, then you would know that short of studying on the library quad with light from the student center, you might as well go to sleep with your work undone. My suggestion is to ask for student volunteers and I am sure there will be some and if the second through the fourth floor has to be closed, why not leave the entire first floor open. This would prevent the library looking like a refugee camp after midnight. I am sure we dont have to perform the half-moon dance in order to get something done about this.
To Northeastern, I say "stand up straight, didn't your parents teach you not to lean!!! Whenever you see that leaning lamp between Forsyth and Greenleaf street, take a look at it, it could mean something to you.
Whenever I see the leaning lamp, it serves to represent a lot of things to me. For one, the lamp seems to be leaning in order to reach out to something I cannot explain. I see myself in the lamp in the sense that I like to reach out to people, my fellow students and furthermore to get them to be involved in student activities. I like to get involve because I have had the experience to know that I manage and use time more efficiently and do better in school when I am an active member of a student group or when I participate in community service as opposed to when I am inactive and I think of everything but tend to do nothing. So for one, the leaning lamp is saying, go out there and get involved.
Secondly, I see the lamp as representing the student body. During the recent workstudy impasse, when the school administrators decided to put our money where their mouths were, the students quickly came together and "leaned" on the school administration to do something about it. We must have leaned so hard for it to rain $130,000, which the provost figures will enable students to now work up to 20 hours a week. As for me, I have leaned on my parents for a while and unfortunately, it does not rain that heavy. Sometimes I have to look up and sing "send down the rain."
Unfortunately, it is not all the time that the leaning lamp represents good for students. The leaning tower has come to represent the school administration. The ever increasing and high tution and fees placed on us by the school and the weight of our personal problems connive to knock the wind out of most of us. With the weight of our education rested heavily but uneasily on how shoulders, I begin to wonder how many actually benefit from their education once they graduate considering that someone who majored in Finance may well end up answering the telephone at Maxwells. Graduation is around the corner and believe me, a lot of seniors are like the green train at a red light, they want to go but cannot move. One graduating senior I talked to wants to go to business school but that is not possible now for three main reasons. One, she cannot afford to go since she does not want to be further in debt, two, she is yet to repay the thousands she owe in her undergraduate loans and thirdly, she needs a job to pay off her loans but there is none forthcoming. So what does she do? You may call it a dilemma but I call it a crisis in American higher education. As graduation day approaches, you are likely to see some seniors shedding tears. The left eye will shed tears of joy, rejoicing that the finished line has been reached while the right eye will shed tears of sorrow, an acknowledgement that they are just about to begin another race. The race to pay off their student loans and the race to begin a new life.
Lastly, the leaning lamp represents Northeastern as a whole. A school trying to stand up straight and provide more students. It would be an understatement to say that a number of things are lacking on campus. The computer labs are a case in point. I need to know why we do not have a 24 hour lab. We have to deal with the fact that the lab closes at 12 midnight on most days of the week. Take David, a typical day college student who belongs to a student organization. He has classes all morning, he spends his afternoon dealing with organization matters, he spends this time planning activities that enhances Northeastern's image. He goes to the library after his dinner ends at 7pm. He puts in three hours of study and heads over to the computer lab to do some work. Two hours later and halfway through his work, David is kicked out of the lab. At some other school, David would have finished his work and would not have to give his professor any excuse.
The same problem applies to the library. At 12 midnight, students are basically evicted from the library. Only a small section of the first floor is left open till 2am. Since my freshman year, I have been looking for the ingenious genius who figured that all the students on the second through the fourth floor would fit in the small section of the library that is left open after midnight. If you are one of those who has a roommate that turns in early, then you would know that short of studying on the library quad with light from the student center, you might as well go to sleep with your work undone. My suggestion is to ask for student volunteers and I am sure there will be some and if the second through the fourth floor has to be closed, why not leave the entire first floor open. This would prevent the library looking like a refugee camp after midnight. I am sure we dont have to perform the half-moon dance in order to get something done about this.
To Northeastern, I say "stand up straight, didn't your parents teach you not to lean!!! Whenever you see that leaning lamp between Forsyth and Greenleaf street, take a look at it, it could mean something to you.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Titbits from Boarding School
ONE.
Nepa had taken light that night so I was actually changing in the dark, everyone was talking in a hushed tone so that the senior next door would not hear them. All my other mates were tucked in their beds. In the process of Changing, Tomi (he was in SS2 then) walks to the divider between our rooms and shouts "One boy, last to come" I was still putting on my trouser so I could not run. It was dark so everyone else pretended to be sleeping. I was the only one standing. Tomi did not see anyone run so he came into the room and saw me.
"Are you deaf, did you not hear me"
"Am coming, I was just changing"
"You are a baggar!!!you must think I am joking with you, follow me"
I followed him to the next room which was also dark. As Tomi got to his bed, he swirled around and landed a "nice one" on my cheek. We used to joke around saying "If I slap you, you'll see stars" but that day Tomi slapped me, I really saw stars, and they twinkled too." I dont remember how many they were but I stopped counting because they were twinkling so fast.
TWO.
For some reason, we all use to get the munchies before going to bed each night. Niyi Akintolu had bought his sugarcane, Diran bought his garri and ekpa (groundnut), Yusuf always had an endless supply of Kellogs Cornflakes (Top of the line) and he was a miser too because he used to sweat on his nose. Now Segun had the best gari you could ever come across, it is condusive to smoking and swelling. If you add milk and ekpa, you will be high for the rest of the night: Ijebu Gari, you cant find anything better anywhere else. If you have money, you should invest in Ijebu gari.
Anyway, everyone is eating quietly for two reasons. They dont want to be "contoured" by someone else and secondly, you dont want to be caught by a senior otherwise you will end up with a 20% stake in your own food as opposed to 100%. We used to call that Silent Gwazing, eating alone and in silence. Everyone was capable of eating quietly but Niyi had sugar cane so all you heard from his mosquito net was the slurshing of someone sucking juice out of the cane. So when Christopher Oloyingbo (Senior terrorist of Senegal House) walked into the room, he asked who that was. You could hear a pin drop.
"Oya, if you are sleeping raise up your hand"
Sorry Christo, we are not that stupid
"Eh ehn, you are all joking with me, all of you get down"
Some people got down but my name wasn't "all of you" so I stayed put.
Christo decided to beat the rest of us out of our pretend sleep. I must have rubbed my eyes so much because my eyes turned red enough to convince him I was actually sleeping. He lined us against the wall and proceeded to interrogate us. One by one we denied the said noise. He got to Niyi and Niyi fessed up quick "IT was my blanket that was talking" You know Christo did not find that funny so Niyi spent the rest of the night under Christo's bed while Christo ate his sugar cane and the remainng gari he was able to get from Segun.
THREE.
Dele's reply reminded me of another incident. Why is it that whenever one of your seniors failed, repeated and became your mate, the person was almost treated like trash or should I say there was a lot of disrespect. It happened a lot at my school. A guy who I will call Tunde was repeating for the second time. My set was the second that was catching up with him. He was in Niger house and one night he decided to soak gari in a cup, put it under his bed and leave it to swell. He had a complete set (Gari, sugar, grounut and milk) The guy must have been really hungry because he fell asleep waiting for the gari to reach maximum optimization.
In comes Tobinson, hungry on a friday night, he had no energy to even do his bathroom duty for saturday inspection. As he walked past Tunde's bed, he thought he saw the reflection of water from under Tunde's bed but he checked to make sure. Jackpot. Garium Sulphate with its complements. He swiped the gari and walked away, two minutes later he came back with tunde's cup filled to the brim with water. He walked away and ate the whole thing which he had transfered into another bowl. Tunde woke up when junior boys were moving his bed with him on it. "Where's my gari????" The junior boys told him. Tobinson had threatened them and had told them to tell Tunde that the house master who so happened to be there had seized it. Gari was illegal so there was no way of him challenging the house master.
FOUR.
Did you ever have to smuggle food out of the dining hall for seniors. I did it a lot and even my school father had me smuggling his food. He got two loaves of bread but I used to eat one and say that it was seized or that it got crumbled where I hid it.
Mr. Ohakanu was our dining hall master. His presence was enough to make you kaka in your drowse even if you were not doing anything wrong. One morning he came to the DH unannounced and came to my house area. We use to seat according to our houses. He knew Senegal house was reknowned for all the food smugglers. Mr. Ohakanu climbed one table in our area and started starring at everyone one by one. The man must have had a ninth sense. He can sniff bread anywhere. He turned to Samson (An ajebutter who had just come from Yankee) and said where are you hiding it??
"I am not hiding anything sir"
"YOu think I am a fool...?"
"No Sir, No Sir"
Mr. Ohakanu bent down towards Samson....thunder slap and headbutt and bread started falling out of Samson's shirt and socks. Yes his socks, people used to hide bread everywhere. In their socks, pants and I am not talking trousers, I am talking underwear, in between their body and their elbow, some even used it as shoulder pads but seeing as we did not have Football players, that was the easiest way to get caught. Samson ended up on detention for three weeks.
Two weeks later, it was Victor Jakpa's turn. Jakpa was smuggling Ewa (Beans) for the 2 most notorious boys in the schools. He always had 2 full plates of food. It was tuesday afternoon so we had eaten beans. Jakpa's tactics for smuggling was to remain in the DH till everyone had left before he even went out. He hoped by then Mr. Ohakanu would have gone home. Na lie. Meanwhile, Raymond and Osahon were waiting for their beans. They had already chanced some junior boys of gari and they had their loaves of bread from ther morning. Jakpa carried the two hefty plates of beans and walked out. Mr Ohakanu who was talking to the kitchen staff in the corner outside saw him and turned his car around.
"Victor Jakpa, come here" Jakpa froze. "...Where do you think you are going with that food?"
"Emmmm mm"
"Whose food is it?" It was an abomination to reveal the names of the seniors you were smuggling food for in my school
"Its my own sir, all the people on my table did not come" "I see, okay sit down"
"What sir??" not sure he heard right
"I say sit down and bring out your cutlery"
Jakpa was not sure what Mr Ohakanu had in mind.
"Since its your own, Start eating"
After protesting several times, Jakpa started eating.
Jakpa ate, ate, ate until he had almost cleaned the two plates of beans. Mr. Ohakanu had made him eat almost a plate and half of beans until he could take it no more.
"If I ever catch you again, taking food out, you will be sorry, next time you see food, you will run. I trust you have enough protein to last you a lifetime. Now go and observe your siesta."
The poor boy could not move and he still had a story to tell when he got to the dorms.
The End
Nepa had taken light that night so I was actually changing in the dark, everyone was talking in a hushed tone so that the senior next door would not hear them. All my other mates were tucked in their beds. In the process of Changing, Tomi (he was in SS2 then) walks to the divider between our rooms and shouts "One boy, last to come" I was still putting on my trouser so I could not run. It was dark so everyone else pretended to be sleeping. I was the only one standing. Tomi did not see anyone run so he came into the room and saw me.
"Are you deaf, did you not hear me"
"Am coming, I was just changing"
"You are a baggar!!!you must think I am joking with you, follow me"
I followed him to the next room which was also dark. As Tomi got to his bed, he swirled around and landed a "nice one" on my cheek. We used to joke around saying "If I slap you, you'll see stars" but that day Tomi slapped me, I really saw stars, and they twinkled too." I dont remember how many they were but I stopped counting because they were twinkling so fast.
TWO.
For some reason, we all use to get the munchies before going to bed each night. Niyi Akintolu had bought his sugarcane, Diran bought his garri and ekpa (groundnut), Yusuf always had an endless supply of Kellogs Cornflakes (Top of the line) and he was a miser too because he used to sweat on his nose. Now Segun had the best gari you could ever come across, it is condusive to smoking and swelling. If you add milk and ekpa, you will be high for the rest of the night: Ijebu Gari, you cant find anything better anywhere else. If you have money, you should invest in Ijebu gari.
Anyway, everyone is eating quietly for two reasons. They dont want to be "contoured" by someone else and secondly, you dont want to be caught by a senior otherwise you will end up with a 20% stake in your own food as opposed to 100%. We used to call that Silent Gwazing, eating alone and in silence. Everyone was capable of eating quietly but Niyi had sugar cane so all you heard from his mosquito net was the slurshing of someone sucking juice out of the cane. So when Christopher Oloyingbo (Senior terrorist of Senegal House) walked into the room, he asked who that was. You could hear a pin drop.
"Oya, if you are sleeping raise up your hand"
Sorry Christo, we are not that stupid
"Eh ehn, you are all joking with me, all of you get down"
Some people got down but my name wasn't "all of you" so I stayed put.
Christo decided to beat the rest of us out of our pretend sleep. I must have rubbed my eyes so much because my eyes turned red enough to convince him I was actually sleeping. He lined us against the wall and proceeded to interrogate us. One by one we denied the said noise. He got to Niyi and Niyi fessed up quick "IT was my blanket that was talking" You know Christo did not find that funny so Niyi spent the rest of the night under Christo's bed while Christo ate his sugar cane and the remainng gari he was able to get from Segun.
THREE.
Dele's reply reminded me of another incident. Why is it that whenever one of your seniors failed, repeated and became your mate, the person was almost treated like trash or should I say there was a lot of disrespect. It happened a lot at my school. A guy who I will call Tunde was repeating for the second time. My set was the second that was catching up with him. He was in Niger house and one night he decided to soak gari in a cup, put it under his bed and leave it to swell. He had a complete set (Gari, sugar, grounut and milk) The guy must have been really hungry because he fell asleep waiting for the gari to reach maximum optimization.
In comes Tobinson, hungry on a friday night, he had no energy to even do his bathroom duty for saturday inspection. As he walked past Tunde's bed, he thought he saw the reflection of water from under Tunde's bed but he checked to make sure. Jackpot. Garium Sulphate with its complements. He swiped the gari and walked away, two minutes later he came back with tunde's cup filled to the brim with water. He walked away and ate the whole thing which he had transfered into another bowl. Tunde woke up when junior boys were moving his bed with him on it. "Where's my gari????" The junior boys told him. Tobinson had threatened them and had told them to tell Tunde that the house master who so happened to be there had seized it. Gari was illegal so there was no way of him challenging the house master.
FOUR.
Did you ever have to smuggle food out of the dining hall for seniors. I did it a lot and even my school father had me smuggling his food. He got two loaves of bread but I used to eat one and say that it was seized or that it got crumbled where I hid it.
Mr. Ohakanu was our dining hall master. His presence was enough to make you kaka in your drowse even if you were not doing anything wrong. One morning he came to the DH unannounced and came to my house area. We use to seat according to our houses. He knew Senegal house was reknowned for all the food smugglers. Mr. Ohakanu climbed one table in our area and started starring at everyone one by one. The man must have had a ninth sense. He can sniff bread anywhere. He turned to Samson (An ajebutter who had just come from Yankee) and said where are you hiding it??
"I am not hiding anything sir"
"YOu think I am a fool...?"
"No Sir, No Sir"
Mr. Ohakanu bent down towards Samson....thunder slap and headbutt and bread started falling out of Samson's shirt and socks. Yes his socks, people used to hide bread everywhere. In their socks, pants and I am not talking trousers, I am talking underwear, in between their body and their elbow, some even used it as shoulder pads but seeing as we did not have Football players, that was the easiest way to get caught. Samson ended up on detention for three weeks.
Two weeks later, it was Victor Jakpa's turn. Jakpa was smuggling Ewa (Beans) for the 2 most notorious boys in the schools. He always had 2 full plates of food. It was tuesday afternoon so we had eaten beans. Jakpa's tactics for smuggling was to remain in the DH till everyone had left before he even went out. He hoped by then Mr. Ohakanu would have gone home. Na lie. Meanwhile, Raymond and Osahon were waiting for their beans. They had already chanced some junior boys of gari and they had their loaves of bread from ther morning. Jakpa carried the two hefty plates of beans and walked out. Mr Ohakanu who was talking to the kitchen staff in the corner outside saw him and turned his car around.
"Victor Jakpa, come here" Jakpa froze. "...Where do you think you are going with that food?"
"Emmmm mm"
"Whose food is it?" It was an abomination to reveal the names of the seniors you were smuggling food for in my school
"Its my own sir, all the people on my table did not come" "I see, okay sit down"
"What sir??" not sure he heard right
"I say sit down and bring out your cutlery"
Jakpa was not sure what Mr Ohakanu had in mind.
"Since its your own, Start eating"
After protesting several times, Jakpa started eating.
Jakpa ate, ate, ate until he had almost cleaned the two plates of beans. Mr. Ohakanu had made him eat almost a plate and half of beans until he could take it no more.
"If I ever catch you again, taking food out, you will be sorry, next time you see food, you will run. I trust you have enough protein to last you a lifetime. Now go and observe your siesta."
The poor boy could not move and he still had a story to tell when he got to the dorms.
The End
Monday, August 01, 2005
Who Stole My Milk?
Anyone who went to Boarding school in Nigeria will tell you how much fun it was. Thats after they have forgotten the hell they went through as junior students. FGC Kaduna was no different, a lot of things happened there and you could never stop telling stories about your experiences.
Theft was always a problems at my school. Whenever a thief was caught, it was swift justice. People just produced their belts, make you leap frog until your knees give out. Anyhow the problem was always when the thief was your classmate especially as a Senior. One time, the headboy was wrongly accused of Stealing someone's radio (it was a big deal then). They beat him up beyond recognition and I have never seen a swollen human head till that day. Needless to say, the school put an end to swift justice as we knew it then.
Thats when students resorted to Atangwari. You see, Atangwari was a native doctor/witchdoctor in Malali Village which was the area bodering FGCK. Students figured that if they could not go the direct way, they would go indirectly via Atangwari.
So Tope's Provisions got stolen one school day, actually during exam period. I think I had English Paper 1 that day. Tope was our house captain and who would dare steal from the house captain himself. They shut down the whole dorm that afternoon and began a box to box search of JSS1 to SSS1 students (as if the idiot who stole it would keep it in his box) To Tope, he did not really care about his garri (garri-G2SO4 qualifies as provision) that was stolen but his NIDO (milk)was important to him and woe betide the thief.
Anyway, Tope and two other classmates went to Malali to see Atangwari. Back in the dorm, we were all anxious to know who Atangwari exposed as the thief. Tope and his men came back almost two hours later with a smile of vengeance on their faces.
"Omo wetin e talk"
"We go catch am tomorrow"
"Why tomorrow, why una no fit go catch am now"
"Atangwari said, he who stole my milk shall get up in the exam hall while he is on question 25" "huh?????"
Apparently, Atangwari had concocted something that would make the guy stang up in the middle of his exam, how he came about question 25 is beyond me but I suppose 25 is the halfway mark in the exam since we normally had 50 questions on our multiple choice exams.
The physics exam started at 8am. Everyone was excited. You could hear the teachers wondering why the usually bored students were hyped up about physics. Even Wilfred was on top of the world. He had slept through a whole term of physics and here he was excited. The teachers had a right to be surprised. Meanwhile, you could hear students whispering "Atangwari said...." It became a slogan.
"Now that I have read out the instructions, I just want to say one thing, You may look up for inspiration, you may look down in desperation, but you may not look sideways for information, you may pick your pencils and start." Invigilators were such a pain.
The whole hall was quite, not a peep from anyone. You could see eyes shifting left and right but it was not to steal answers from anyone. Not long into the Exam, Aminu Yaro stood up. Till today, we are not quite sure what number he was on but he was nonetheless labeled guilty. His standing most probably halted the exam cos as soon as he did, the whole hall was abuzz.
"What is happening?" an invigilator asked. "Ehn, Atangwari said..."
"Ata who???"
The guy kept quite. Tope stood up and proceeded to explain to the invigilator what this was all about. Meanwhile, the exam had stopped. They ended up in the principals office, the physics paper was resheduled and Atangwari was summoned (he probably thot he was getting paid). The principal asked for the logic behind his conclusion. If you ask me, that was stupid of our principal. How can you ask a witchdoctor for logic. Anyway, he berated Atangwari, Tope and the rest of our classmates and he banned us from going to Atangwari to solve any of our problems.
"Atangwari said......!!!!!!!!"
Keep up the faith.
Theft was always a problems at my school. Whenever a thief was caught, it was swift justice. People just produced their belts, make you leap frog until your knees give out. Anyhow the problem was always when the thief was your classmate especially as a Senior. One time, the headboy was wrongly accused of Stealing someone's radio (it was a big deal then). They beat him up beyond recognition and I have never seen a swollen human head till that day. Needless to say, the school put an end to swift justice as we knew it then.
Thats when students resorted to Atangwari. You see, Atangwari was a native doctor/witchdoctor in Malali Village which was the area bodering FGCK. Students figured that if they could not go the direct way, they would go indirectly via Atangwari.
So Tope's Provisions got stolen one school day, actually during exam period. I think I had English Paper 1 that day. Tope was our house captain and who would dare steal from the house captain himself. They shut down the whole dorm that afternoon and began a box to box search of JSS1 to SSS1 students (as if the idiot who stole it would keep it in his box) To Tope, he did not really care about his garri (garri-G2SO4 qualifies as provision) that was stolen but his NIDO (milk)was important to him and woe betide the thief.
Anyway, Tope and two other classmates went to Malali to see Atangwari. Back in the dorm, we were all anxious to know who Atangwari exposed as the thief. Tope and his men came back almost two hours later with a smile of vengeance on their faces.
"Omo wetin e talk"
"We go catch am tomorrow"
"Why tomorrow, why una no fit go catch am now"
"Atangwari said, he who stole my milk shall get up in the exam hall while he is on question 25" "huh?????"
Apparently, Atangwari had concocted something that would make the guy stang up in the middle of his exam, how he came about question 25 is beyond me but I suppose 25 is the halfway mark in the exam since we normally had 50 questions on our multiple choice exams.
The physics exam started at 8am. Everyone was excited. You could hear the teachers wondering why the usually bored students were hyped up about physics. Even Wilfred was on top of the world. He had slept through a whole term of physics and here he was excited. The teachers had a right to be surprised. Meanwhile, you could hear students whispering "Atangwari said...." It became a slogan.
"Now that I have read out the instructions, I just want to say one thing, You may look up for inspiration, you may look down in desperation, but you may not look sideways for information, you may pick your pencils and start." Invigilators were such a pain.
The whole hall was quite, not a peep from anyone. You could see eyes shifting left and right but it was not to steal answers from anyone. Not long into the Exam, Aminu Yaro stood up. Till today, we are not quite sure what number he was on but he was nonetheless labeled guilty. His standing most probably halted the exam cos as soon as he did, the whole hall was abuzz.
"What is happening?" an invigilator asked. "Ehn, Atangwari said..."
"Ata who???"
The guy kept quite. Tope stood up and proceeded to explain to the invigilator what this was all about. Meanwhile, the exam had stopped. They ended up in the principals office, the physics paper was resheduled and Atangwari was summoned (he probably thot he was getting paid). The principal asked for the logic behind his conclusion. If you ask me, that was stupid of our principal. How can you ask a witchdoctor for logic. Anyway, he berated Atangwari, Tope and the rest of our classmates and he banned us from going to Atangwari to solve any of our problems.
"Atangwari said......!!!!!!!!"
Keep up the faith.
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