One Friday

Everyone looks forward to Fridays. For one, it's the last day of the week and with the weekend finally here, we look for all sorts to do. This Friday was a bit different for me because not only was there a lot to do, it did not involve spending a dime. To make it more interesting, it involved FOOD.

First on my agenda was to attend the sendoff party being held for me at work. I almost skipped it though. Where I work, people quit almost every two weeks and we get the same cheese and grapes send off week after week. Mine was a bit different, being the first black person to quit in a while, they put a different spin to it. I walked into that conference room and I see nothing but Doritos/Frito Lay and Salsa with Diet Coke and cheap beer, none of which I drink. They even proceeded to discuss the merits of Salsa sauce over Honeyhorsed whipped cream. What a Sham. After 2 hours of fake smiles , listening to jokes that I didn't understand/wasn't funny, and hearing people tell me they'll miss me when they would rather drown me in salsa sauce, I jetted to the next fun spot, Funto's birthday party.

God Bless her heart. I knew I was wise not to eat Doritos and instead reserve that space for something more digestively eloquent. As I walked through the door, Funto put in my hands, a plate of freshly prepared, steaming Jollof Rice + gizzard + chicken with a little suya-like meat on a stick. TELL ME, if it was you, won't you ignore everybody (Canga take note) and clear your own space in order to concentrate fully on the food??? I was barely through the mountain when Funto asked if I wanted a bowl of peppersoup?? Hehn, is Jesu Christi the son of God??? Comon BRING IT ON!!!!. Phew, by the time I was done, I was sweating through my head and dancing to "stomp" in a stomping kinda way. By now, I had noticed the other people in the room wolfing down chicken legs and cracking the bones, it was that good.

I know I had a lot of peppersoup but it did not blur my vision, for I saw a black homosapien trot in with his homies wearing nothing but a thick jacket and sunshades!!! But Why???? Why!!!!!It was almost 90 degrees outside and it was 10 P.M. "at night" and we were INDOORS!!! WHY??? I almost told Funto not to serve hime peppersoup. I know there was one halogen lamp in the room but it was not that bright!!! Unfortunately, the guy was identified as Nigerian, how I wish it was Canga that brought him, then I could tell solace in hime being from Malawi. Oh by the way, the Homosapien decided to showboat and tell me and Dalu that his Shades were of the Polo species and that he bought them when he went to London the previous month. Like we care, for all I know, he could have bought it second hand from Olangbesho when he went to Asaba last month, after all, he only passed through London en route to Boston.

As usual, after eating, I bailed to my house, where FUNKE was having her own party. Chidi and Frank were already there guzzling beer. Unlike other miscalculated Nigerians, Frank does not believe in Nigerian time when it comes to parties that serve Heneiken. Remember that Heneiken is a premium beer that disappears first before budweiser at any party and for Frank to have his standard one pack at any party, he has to get there first. He was also beefing up for an argument with the ever voracious Canga later that evening. There was FOOD, GOOD MUSIC and the place was pumping. You know a place is jamming when your white Landlord strolls up to your door to join the party. His wife had to come get him. As with every other loud party, the cops visited us twice but that did not spoil the fun.

I topped the weekend by watching swingers. That's a mellow movie but one that every guy should watch and maybe women. It teaches you about the rules of the dating game particularly the three day waiting period. When you get a number from a woman, please do not call that very night when you get home at 2am, how desperate can you be???? (At least that's what the movie taught me) Chill for three days and if you are a player(for men) or playerette (for women), wait for the six day minimum before you call. Oh, if you break off with your boyfriend/girlfriend, it is a very bad idea to call for at least three months (if you do, you must be a goat) The guy in the movie had broken up for six months and the foolish/poor guy waited for a phone call for the six months- what a wuss!!! Anyway, he was broken hearted and when he met this other woman and started dating her, his girlfriend calls and says she has being thinking about him- yeah rightin the arms of another man. That's two rules in dating I have given you.

I was tactically able to cook a pot of Egusi soup successfully this Sunday. I had all the ingredients quite alright and after weeks of soliciting either the pot of soup or the recipe from many of my so called "femail" Friend, I gave up and did the did myself. Osam (my roommate) woke up from sleep when he perceived the aroma and after eating it, with imported Garri from Benin, he refused to wash his hands. So to those of you I asked for the pot of Egusi soup or the recipe for it, stick that pot and recipe where it belongs. Guys, if you need the new and improved recipe, I'll be glad to provide it and lessons to go with it. More power.

The End