Fast Chick Factor

BRING SOMETHING WHEN YOU ARE COMING

My roommate just picked up the ringing pone. It was Dr. Darkberi on the line. She was kind enough to invite us to her abode for a get-together., as our fridge was kinda empty and we were about to headover to Hong Kong in Harvard Square. The way we figured it, we knew there was a 80-20 chance of meeting hour-glass figures at Dr. Darkberi's place, so we went. We stopped by star market to buy drinks as she requested. We had done our part. Everybody brought something, wine, chips, doritos, ice cream and beer as they trooped in. So why did my humble friend (F. Smooth) bring BREAD to the party???? I am still trying to figure that out. He did not even bring butter to make the passage of the bread down my throat easier.



FAST CHICK FACTOR

I didn't know much about this till I got on the Esteemed Boston Talk show "Dr. Darkberi Talk Hour" It's a very informational talk show unlike the trash you see on TV these days and there, you can afford to be honest. Participants are not paid even though food is provided (beaucoup plenty). Anyway, Dr. Darkberi is a Boston based pharmacist who sometimes moonlights as a "love doctor" cum "picnic organizer. But I digress. The Dr. bought up an interesting theory, which is applicable to the real world of women. The FCF theory - the Fast Chick Factor. According to her, the FCF is a pollutant in today's dating scene. A woman could be "talking" to a guy, taking her time to know him, maybe also thinking she's got it going good, maybe also giving the guy a hard time (as society warrants). All of a sudden, like an Amtrak train squashing a squirrel, the woman is hit with the FCF. There's another chick in town and she's got "your man" [mind you, the "talking" part went fast for this chick]. Now that's the Fast Chick Factor for you.
Dr. Darkberi is not encouraging you to rush into relationships but she thinks it is fair warning to the slow ones or those who take their time so they know what they are up against. Different people were present at the talkshow, we had your truly,

- a psychologist/business strategist from Harvard whose role was to lecture us on the different strategies for eliminating the Fast Chick Factor

- another love doctor/Banker from the Nevada Love Nest who is an expert in assessing returns on love.

- a computer expert from the South End Inc was there to tell us how email plays a bigger role in fostering the FCF),

- an FBI agent from Mission Park Agency (somewhat like Agent Maulder and Agent Scully) who was there to investigate the sightings of the Fast Chicks.

- and finally, a World Bank Representative to tell us how to apportion our love and at the same time introduce some Love Adjustment Programs.



THE USHER FACTOR

On a different segment of the same talk show, the Usher effect was introduced. The way I understand it, a couple could be having a quarrel and the guy now goes to another woman to complain and to seek solace. Unfortunately, this is where the Usher effect creeps in. Now you all have heard the song by one small rich boy that goes somewhat like this

".you make me want to leave the one am with and be in a relationship with you."

Take Tony and Stella for example, they have a quarrel and Stella refuses to talk to Tony for a few days. Tony has no choice now but goes to Rose for "advice" In the process of complaining about Stella and getting advice, Tony starts to see something good about Rose, something he had never seen before, something he had never felt before. I know, I know, I know you feel a Dij` vu. Now after dispensing advice (negative or positive who knows) Rose starts to think, well, if their relationship was that strong, he won't be here anyway, so what the h - - l. At the same time, Tony is singing a popular reggae song in his head,

"Girl, you look so fine, you-make my body tremble all the time."

Before you know, the Usher effect has fully kicked in, Tony and Rose become a couple, Stella smashes her "Usher" CD and starts to listen to "someone is sleeping in my bed", while Rose is careful not to quarrel with Tony. The Editor would like to add that, if you've got a problem, talk it out, don't let an old problem follow you to a new day. Cheap Love Therapy sessions are offered by the love doctor from the Nevada Love Nest. He only charges $25 per session - for real!!!